Dating nine year age difference
And, although we've been together for more than a year and a half, live together, and are planning a future with one another, individuals still find it difficult to understand why we have chosen each other.
My age has been a huge barrier for some to open their minds and hearts and get to know me simply as the person whom he loves.
Moreover, I often want to hide away — to avoid family functions, social outings, and not have to face people eye to eye.
But I know that hiding, crying and shouting does no good; I must show up as myself, courageously and yet graciously, and be the best person I can be.
In reality, strangers hardly know there is much of an age difference between us, and they're almost certainly unaware that the difference is about 12.5 years — an age gap that is taboo in our culture.
Before I realized the depth of others' judgments about our “taboo” relationship, I first had to get over my own insecurities about being with someone over a decade younger.
I went through all of the issues in my head thinking, Sometimes, I'd actually pick fights out of insecurity, just so I could utter the lines, “Maybe you'd be happier with someone who for certain has all of her eggs,” or, “Perhaps, you want someone who isn’t on a timeline of starting a family.” I am not a “cougar," the horrible label given to women who date younger men.
When the roles are reversed and an older man dates a younger woman, the men are often congratulated and revered.
Just a month ago, we had to have talk about whether or not we should stay together or break up — simply because of the pressure put on us from hearing so many critical opinions about our relationship.
No one can predict what lies ahead, and no one knows if they will be with someone forever, however long “forever” may be.2.
I believe that this is someone else’s issue and not my own.
I know that this is something for them to process, and not for me to have to explain.
Their fear over our choice to be together in actual fact has nothing to do with our loving relationship and us — it is their problem to solve.3. In times when I ask if it is all worth it, I look at him and know that I have found the person I do not want to live without.
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I remind myself that no one can predict the future.